What are galoshes you might ask? Well, I’m glad you asked. The answer is something none of us really need to know, but I’m going to tell you anyway. Galoshes are basically shoes for your shoes. If you have nice shoes and you don’t want them to get wet, you buy a pair of galoshes, which are bigger than your normal shoes and would be slipped on over your regular shoes in order to protect your Prada heels or whatever, but I don’t think they make galoshes for high heels, anyway, think rain boots, and also remember that if you’re wearing galoshes, your feet are going to look gigantic.
Once upon a time there was a party in Copenhagen. The guests were debating about what era of time was better. One side debated that the current day was pretty awesome, but someone else said that the middle ages were better especially during the time of King Hans, whoever he may be. A newspaper came, but people kept debating.
In the foyer were two maidens, nobody noticed they were there. One was young and one was old. They looked at first to be servants, but they weren’t. They were dressed too fine and seemed to be there for a reason. The young maiden was a chambermaid to Fortune. The older one was named Care; she preferred to do her work herself.
The maid of Fortune said that today was her birthday and she was tasked with distributing a pair of galoshes to mankind. This pair of galoshes would take the wearer wherever he wished to be instantly. Care told the maid of Fortune that the wearer would not be happy, the maid of Fortune disagreed, but they waited by to see. They placed the galoshes by the door to see who would grab them.
This story is in several parts so we shall find out all about these galoshes as the story moves on.
I know Fortune refers back to Greek mythology, but I couldn’t really find Fortune teaming up with someone named Care. It may be something I have to look more into, but yes, Fortune, or Fortuna, was worshiped for a while. She was the goddess of good fortune and luck, can anyone say “Wheel of Fortune”? Look it up, it wasn’t always associated with Vanna White, but I guess you could say she is something of a maid of fortune. Does anyone ever wish they had Vanna’s job? All she has to do is point to letters and look pretty, that’s probably why she developed her own line of yarn products; she got bored with just pointing to letters and looking pretty.
I already explained what galoshes were. I guess there was a need for them, but I don’t really know anybody who wears anything like that. You have a pair of rain boots, or whatever, and that’s that. Just like I have a pair of garden boots to work outside with. You don’t wear your good shoes out in the rain, if you can help it.
Care says that the galoshes will not make a person happy. We’ll learn more about this in the rest of the parts of the story, but we can discuss it a little bit now. The galoshes enable to wearer to be wherever he wishes to be. That’s great and all. I mean I would like some shoes like that. I want to go to Germany, click your heels three times and you’re there, different story, sorry, but still applies. It would be a really neat thing to have this item that enabled you to teleport and even time travel, but would it make you happy?
I say that if you had to go by yourself, you might be happy for a while, but things would soon lose their luster. You would get tired of going all these great places by yourself. Look, I like my alone time, but some things are just better with someone else. You need a person you can turn to and be like, “Is is normal for people to walk around naked here,” and, “…so what are we supposed to do here?” Traveling alone can kind of suck. The world is not something to experience alone.
As far as time travel, why do you think Doctor Who always has companions?
Also, it’s a too-much-of-a-good-thing scenario. Oh, you like ice cream? Have it every day! Oh you want it to be Christmas everyday? So be it! Those types of scenarios never turn out well. In the first scenario you get really fat and develop diabetes and genuinely just really want a salad. In the second scenario, sure Christmas is fun, but nothing ever gets done if it’s Christmas every day and all your money would be gone. So having Christmas everyday isn’t exactly a great idea.
This is just the beginning we’ll find out what happens with these stupid rain boots soon enough.
Illustration: the great illustration at the beginning of the post is by artist Oskar Klever.
care, fortuna, fortune, galoshes, maid of fortune, maiden of care, the galoshes of fortune, the galoshes of fortune hans christian andersen, The Galoshes of Fortune-A Beginning, The Galoshes of Fortune-A Beginning hans christian andersen
Andersen Fairy Tales, Andersen-Hans Christian