Oh Hans! This Isn’t a History Lesson

Oh Hans! This Isn't a History LessonOh Hans! This Isn’t a History Lesson

Hans, Hans, Hans…if I wanted a history lesson, I’d read a history book, not a fairy tale. I get that you’re proud of Denmark, but goodness, I could probably pass a Danish citizenship test now, if that’s a thing. Hans loved Denmark, as we have already established, and he was not above enumerating the history of Denmark in his stories, multiple times.

If Hans wasn’t writing a straight up ode to Demark’s history, he was writing a story where grandpa was telling the kids about history. Grandpa remembers when this happened. Grandpa remembers when that happened. Grandpa will tell you about King Christian or this king or that king. Grandpa will tell you about all of it.

The street lamps in Hans’ stories even remember the history of Denmark. When the street lamps are getting replaced with newer models, they recall the history of Denmark.

History is very important. We should know where we come from. We should know what has happened in our pasts. We should especially know the mistakes we have made so that we do not repeat them as a people. We should of course be proud of our accomplishments, but we don’t have to go on and on spouting history lessons to anyone who will listen.

Hans just really loved his country. He was patriotic, but you and I all know one of those patriotic people who annoy the heck out of us. You know, that guy who takes off his shirt and paints his beer belly with the American flag and shouts, “Murica!” That guy. Hans was sort of that guy, but a little more toned down. I highly doubt Hans painted any Danish flags anywhere on his body. He just wanted everyone to know Denmark’s history.

Hans, I read stories for edification, but also to be entertained. A straight-up history lesson is not entertaining. I’m just not that much of a history junkie.

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