How Men and Women Got Together
When Old Man created the Earth he put men and women apart from each other. They both got their own food and lived well, but were nowhere close to one another. Old One decided that he should bring the two together so they could mate. He would put a little pleasure into it because the men wouldn’t do it otherwise.
The men got enough food, but lived in crude shelters and wore crude clothing. The women also got enough food, but lived in nice dwellings and wore nice clothes. They also knew other foods that the men did not know. Old One first went to the women and then went back to tell the men all about them. The men should go out to meet the women. So they did, but when the women say how smelly and dirty they were, they wanted no part of it and chased the men off.
Old One decided that he had done the right thing to put men and women apart, but knew they had to mate. The women decided that they should dress more like the men in order to attract attention. So they went out dirty to meet the men, but the men decided to clean up. The men then decided that they didn’t like the dirty women and went their separate ways again.
The women then decided to have another go at it. They cleaned themselves up and put on their best clothes to go out and meet the men. Some men thought the women were there to kill them, but Old One told the men to go and wash themselves and put on their best clothes. So the men did. The men and women met. Old One took the woman chief away so they could do the wonderful thing. He took her off into the bushes and said he had a wonderful thing to show her. The woman said she enjoyed the thing more than she thought she would. Old One said he also enjoyed it. They wanted to go tell everyone else about the thing, but everyone else had already figured out the thing and were off doing the thing.
After this, the men and women moved in together and shared their skills, and did the thing, and had children.
If you haven’t guessed, this story is all about sex.
I like how the women have nice things and the men are basically running around like animals. Ha! Look, despite all this talk about women’s equality, and men and women being the same, and gender rights, and so forth and so on, there are still ways in which men and women are very different. Perhaps it is all a matter of men and women being nurtured differently and assimilating to society’s gender norms, or maybe it’s because men and women are really different. Give it a few generations and we’ll figure it out, maybe.
In today’s world, women are still very likely to be the homemakers. They’re still the ones who are apt to make your house a nice place, rather than just simply a place to put your coat, or hunting knife, whatever the case may be. Men are still more likely the ones to go out and provide the bulk of the income for a family, also probably because men generally get paid more for the same job. Don’t argue with me on that. I don’t know a lot of men that would go out and make a house nice like a woman would. I just don’t. That doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. It’s just generally how things go.
This is a story about the creation of sex, or the finding of sex. It’s like The Blue Lagoon all over again. People have been having sex for a long time. A long, long, time, obviously, as there have been people for a long time. At one point, there were people considering the first Homo sapiens. What did they think of sex? Was it a mystery? Did it seem normal to them? Was it a revelation? It must have been kind of weird for the first people who did it. Then the woman got pregnant at some point and she was like, “What the heck is going on? Am I possessed? Is an alien growing inside of me?” Too many question, and too few answers, I say.
I like how the Old One put pleasure in it so the men would do it. Hahahahaha! Seriously, if it wasn’t pleasurable, would men still do it? Really? Come on…think about it. Women would be like, “Look honey, we have to do this to continue the species,” and men would be like, “oh, do I have to?” How many times have you asked a man to take out the trash and how many times has that trash just sat there until you asked him to do it again, and again, and he ended up getting angry because he didn’t take the trash out in the first darn place because he was playing video games? Men and stubborn, women are stubborn–if there’s no reward to something, how often is it going to get done? Sure, there are things that need to be done, but we’re all pretty good about putting that off until it absolutely has to be done. It’s just usually the women who are more about getting those things done rather than the men.
I like this story, it’s funny.
Seriously, if it didn’t feel good, would the man in your life have sex?
What do you think the first people who had sex thought?