Native American Tales

The Dogs Hold an Election

The Dogs Hold an ElectionThe Dogs Hold an Election

Brule Sioux

This story starts out by saying that the Sioux don’t think much of the white man’s election process.

The dogs decided that they wanted to elect a president. Some nominated one dog because he was strong, but he could not run fast. Others nominated a dog because he could run fast, but was not strong. Another dog nominated a different dog because he smelt good under his tail. Some of the other dogs seconded this motion. All the dogs started sniffing each other underneath their tails to see who smelled good and would make a good leader. The dogs still sniff under each other tails today because they’re still looking for a good leader.


This is hilarious.

Dogs are actually sniffing each others butts because there are scent glands back there. The information dogs gather while sniffing each others butts is like all the pleasantries you have to get through to make a new friend, or not, depending on what the case may be.


You know, this process might make more sense than how we actually elect a president. We have a flawed two-party system, you choose between bad and worse, no one candidate has all the qualities you want, then there is some mysterious going-ons with an electoral college, who don’t always have to vote true to constituents, maybe someone ate some chads and hid some ballots. You just never know with elections in the United States.

Ok, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to nominate someone for president because of how good their butt smells, but does it make sense to nominate someone for president because of other trivial reasons? He looks good on TV; he should be president. Yeah, not really a wise choice and equally as stupid as having a nice-smelling butt.

Whoever told this story looked at the election process for the United States, could not make a lot of sense out of it, and then told a story that makes just as much sense as our election process. For the record, I’ve taken Poli Sci, I know about nominations and primaries and the electoral college and all that jazz. Just because you know a process doesn’t mean it’s any less messed up.

The dogs couldn’t find anyone who met their criteria, which is how it goes in real life. Is any one candidate going to lower taxes and increase jobs and give free college and healthcare to the country? No, it’s just not going to happen. There is never a president that does everything he/she says they’re going to do.

As silly as this story is, it’s a pretty accurate reflection of how our elections actually work.


If you don’t let your dog sniff other dogs’ butts, how is your dog ever going to know who to vote for?

Weigh In

Do we nominate presidential candidates based on firm principles or is it just a popularity contest?

Do the dogs have a good system?


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