Barnes-Emilie, How To, inspirational, Non-Fiction, Self-help

#692 The Quick-fix Home Organizer by Emilie Barnes

The Quick-fix Home Organizer by Emilie BarnesThe Quick-fix Home Organizer by Emilie Barnes

Ladies, it’s time to make lists and get your house organized for Jesus. Amen.

What I liked

You may be wondering how my summary can be so short, well, that’s all, that’s what the book is about. I mean some of the suggestions were interesting– decorating with a tower of unique hats? I like it.

I agree with Emilie to an extent. I think clutter and mess can dampen one’s spirit, and as a result, perhaps make you feel less close to God, or whatever higher power you may believe in. I do think that mess and clutter can have a psychological effect on us, and maybe a spiritual effect. When things are in order, your life can more easily be in order. It makes sense.

What I didn’t like

None of what Emilie wrote in this book is a revelation, except maybe the scriptures quoted from the Book of Revelations. I’m joking, she didn’t actually quote Revelations, but there was an awful lot of scripture quoting going on.

Here’s my thing, I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice, I’ve said it fifty times–show your faith, don’t spray it. Well, I actually haven’t said that before, but it’s a shorter version of what I did say. If you are faithful in some religion, don’t go around talking about how much you love Jesus or Buddha and telling everyone to have a “blessed day.” Nope, show people that you believe. Do good things. Be a good person. If you believe that Jesus said to adopt as many kittens as you could, then adopt as many kittens as you can, don’t just talk about adopting kittens.

I don’t have any proof that Emilie is as God-respecting as she says she is. For all I know, she has a very organized, secret closet for Satanic rituals. Here’s a handy tip–put your sacrificial bloods in uniform containers with cute little devil labels, that way your ritual closet will be organized.

You don’t have to love Jesus to want an organized house. You can love Buddha and want an organized house, or the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever. Being organized and loving Jesus are not mutually exclusive.

This book is most definitely geared towards women. Books geared towards women are wonderful, of course, but organizing and cleaning and decorating are not tasks solely assigned to women. I’ve known some men who have sheds so organized that it would blow your mind. Being a homemaker is not a woman job. It’s an everybody who lives in a house job. Dad and mom and kids? It’s the job of all of them to make the house a home. There was even some trite junk in this book about organizing things the way your husband would like, so he’ll feel good, or something like that.

Look, your significant other may like things a certain way and maybe that way is a great way to organize things, but maybe it’s not. Sometimes you have to compromise, especially if your spouse thinks it’s a good idea to store all the toilet paper in the basement when there aren’t even any bathrooms down there. Maybe you compromise and store the toilet paper in the hall closet.


I love organization just as much as anyone else, but I don’t need to hear about Jesus when I’m organizing my spices.

Weigh In

Is organizing things fun?

Do you think Jesus has organized closets?


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