Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
What I liked
What I didn’t like
Now, you may be wondering what in the world I have typed in my summary section and “What I liked” section. Well, that thing, that string of letters, is what came up when I Googled, “How to type a fart noise.”
Why did I type a fart noise instead of actually writing a summary for this book? Why did I not have anything to like about it?
This book has nothing likable in it, nor does it deserve to be summarized.
Ok, I’ll do a little.
Nancy, an unmarried and childless woman, has written a book about the lies she believes women believe. For example, women believe they can work outside of the home and have a fulfilling home life. Women believe that they have rights. Women believe that they can get divorced when their marriage seems insurmountable. Women believe that they can dictate how large their family should be. Women believe that they have control over their own bodies.
She even suggests that all our problems stem from Eve eating that apple in the garden of Eden and not asking her husband about it first, because as a woman, she is supposed to defer all major decisions to her husband, because he’s the man; he has a penis.
Here’s the best lie Nancy thinks that women believe–Women were made to serve man.
This entire book is bulls***. I don’t do a lot of cussing, well, apart from dicks in traffic. For me to even type that out rather than my usual “bull crap” means this is serious.
Look, I’m religious, I’m just not as religious now as I used to be, but most of this stuff sounds like utter bulls*** to me, but I know there have been more extreme Christian sects that have promoted these shameful and damaging ideas.
This book made me angry. You know what Nancy would say about my anger towards this book? Look, I know people like Nancy so well that I know what she would say. She would say, “Well, you’re only angry by the things in the book because you’re not following the teachings in the book as a good Christian woman, but you know that you should.”
Nancy’s would-be response is something I’m familiar with. I’m not angry because I’m a sinful woman of the world who has fallen from Grace, I’m angry because this is bulls***, even if you are a Christian woman, more devout than I am, half of this book sounds like utter bulls***, at least.
According the Nancy, you are literally supposed to let your husband, if you have one, make every decision in your life. You are supposed to stay at home, having babies, without taking birth control. If there is no money coming in, you are supposed to let the man deal with it. If the man makes a decision opposite the decision you know to be right, you’re just supposed to deal with it. If that man is abusive, you’re supposed to forgive and forgive and forgive over and over again knowing that God can change any man.
That last bit is what astounded me. Look, I got out of an abusive, mentally, somewhat fundamental Christian marriage, not so long ago. If I had listened to advice like Nancy’s, I would still be in it. Nancy wouldn’t even recognize mental abuse in marriage anyway, she would say I was being too sensitive and even if I were depressed, it’s nothing a good talk to my clergy couldn’t fix. Would God have changed my ex-husband? If I had stayed and had continued to endure abuse, would my husband be any different? That’s a big fat nope. If anything, my ex got worse as time went on, more overt in his so-called entitlement to treat me however he wanted.
I agree with Nancy that God can change any person, but the thing is, the person has to be open to it. It’s just the same as the saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” God could literally be throwing candy at an abusive man that would instantly change him into a caring individual who respected his wife, but if that man was not willing to change, he wouldn’t eat any of it. A person has to decide to change. A person has to be open to the fact that maybe, just maybe, they’re wrong. We’re all guilty of not being open enough, the God, to the universe, to our friends, our spouses, or whoever, but I think abusers rarely change. I think once you’re an abuser, you stay an abuser, mostly.
Nancy suggests that if your spouse is physically abusive, you are supposed to remove yourself from their presence, but you’re supposed to keep them in your life and be respectful of them. You’re supposed to be f***ing respectful to someone who beats you?!
Nancy is one of those fundamentalists that is spreading more hurt than good. She is giving Christian women a bad impression of Christianity. She’s giving any woman, Christian or not, a bad impression of Christianity. Her take on it is–you don’t matter if you’re a woman, you’re only here to serve and obey people with penises. Nancy, if that is the case, why do women even have brains? Why are there women so smart that they could build nuclear reactors and send people to the moon? Why are there women so talented they could put Mozart to shame? If women were truly made only to serve man and have children, why are they capable of doing anything else? If Nancy truly believed in God as doing everything right and everything with reason, then she would trust that God made women to be capable of so many great things, because women will do many great things in the kingdom of God, not just be servants to men. God made women to be strong on their own or with a spouse; I’m not even going to say husband, because it’s legal for two women to be married now.
Oh and another thing, God made people with brains so they could think and act for themselves. You are supposed to know what good and evil is, contrary to Nancy’s opinion, so that you can actively choose good, knowing what the evil is. You are supposed to learn as much as you can about the world, then still choose to be a good person, despite the atrocities of evil and mankind. It doesn’t matter whether you have a penis or a vagina, you’re supposed to be a good person; that’s what God wants, not subjugation of one sex to another, one race to another, one nation to another, or any other submissive role you can think of.
For shame Nancy, trying to make half of God’s human creations, think that they do not matter and that they are not equally as special and valuable in God’s eyes as the rest of his human creations. Shame. Shame. Shame.
On an end note–even if you don’t believe in God, just substitute in every mention of God in this post for whatever you do or don’t believe and you’ll get what I’m saying. The things I’m saying work just as well if you believe in The Flying Spaghetti Monster or simply that the universe is a thing.
DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! If you see this book in the thrift shop, you might even think about buying it and disposing of it so that there are less copies floating around.
What question would you ask Nancy if you met her?
Is it possible for a book to be such a disservice to humanity that it should be pulled from the shelves?