Why I Jumped by Tina Zahn
One day Tina attempted to jump two-hundred feet to her death. She was suffering from postpartum depression and also issues stemming from being sexually abused as a child. Her mother had never been the person to turn to. Tina felt the only way to end her suffering was to end her life.
Tina tells her life story. When she was very young, the man she thought was her father, began to sexually abuse her. Ultimately, ending up raping her on more than one occasion over the years. Tina knew her mother would not have believed her had she went to her mother, as a daughter, and told her what happened.
Tina grew up. She went to college. Things seemed to be going well for Tina, but not entirely. She was in a mentally abusive relationship with her high school sweetheart. Tina ended up getting pregnant twice, and having abortions, twice.
At one point, Tina did meet a nice guy and she got married. They started a family, but things were not good. Tina became extremely depressed. The doctors weren’t very helpful, but Tina did come up for air long enough to have a second child, five years later.
This time things were worse. Tina fell into a dark hole that she couldn’t climb out of, despite medication and tough love from her mother.One day she escaped from the house and went to the bridge. The only thing that saved her was a police officer who went above the call of duty, and against protocol, to grab her arm as she jumped.
Tina then had to begin treatment. She was hospitalized. She started electroshock treatment, medication, and counseling. She cut her step-father out of her life. Tina ultimately did come out on top, despite a strenuous battle.
What I liked
I like memoirs, as we all know, and I liked Tina’s, although it was sad. I learned more about postpartum depression and how dangerous it can be.
Although this isn’t a good thing at all, I was surprised to find an abuser who refrained from his abuse for an extended period of time, which is flat-out amazing and unexpected. I tend to believe that once you’re an abuser, you’re always an abuser. In my personal experience, I haven’t known anyone who has ever reformed. They don’t think they’re doing anything wrong. This book was surprising to me because the abuser admitted he had done wrong and then refrained from being abusive, for a short time; he went back to being a dick, of course, but for a while, he wasn’t a complete demon.
What I didn’t like
Who in the Hell thinks it’s OK to sexually abuse a child? For that matter, who thinks it’s OK to abuse anyone? What a dick! I have no sympathy for anyone who is an abuser. If somebody thinks it’s OK to abuse people, then they better go live by themselves away from the rest of us and let us have normal lives, free of their abuse.
I also don’t like that Tina’s depression got overlooked and man-splained away by doctors.
Tina’s mother is something else. You’re supposed to protect your children. A mother, of all people, should be the person a child should be able to go to for help. Tina didn’t have that.
I am so glad Tina is doing better.
Have you experienced post-partum depression? If so, do you feel it’s overlooked by the medical community?
Have you ever known an abuser to change?